The look to cross Nathaniel's face is not one of disappointment but pure confusion. Head canting to the side, puppyish and if he'd been capable in this form, his ears would have perked.
'Why? I mean, not to utterly...'
Head ducking, blushing, hating his own brazeness.
"Celibacy by choice is not something I understand. And as for the rest, it... I would need know what you required of me. To be cut off from contact with others, not even sexual but in general will, over time, kill me. Literally."
*Stares into the fire, tracing his mouth with a long finger. He sighs.*
I propose an experiment. You claim to want to serve, and I believe that you would benefit from time away from the...social structures to which you have become inured.
There is an old family home in Wales which has not been used in many years. With some attention, I believe it could become habitable again, and I am in need of a safe house and a new laboratory. If you truly wish to leave this place, you may assist me there.
It is a remote location, and I am currently very busy. There is a war... In any case, you will have ample opportunity for personal reflection. I will attempt to be as available to you as I can for discussion and company. You will earn your keep by assisting me, and will receive room and board, and a small additional salary. After the house has been dealt with, we can discuss your wishes for the future.
There is a fireplace which I will connect to the nexus so that you may communicate with your friends, but it will not allow bodily travel for you or anyone else. ((Don’t want to cut you off from the nexus totally! ;-)) This sounds extreme to you, I know, but it is for your safety and my own. As I said, there is a war, and I wish to keep this safe house as safe as possible. I imagine we will find opportunity to visit the nexus.
Allow me to take a moment to be honest with you, Mr. Nathaniel. I do not like lycanthropes. Mr. Shuyler has assured me that your condition is not like that to which I am familiar from my own world, but lycanthropy is a disease, and I consider your kind to be dangerous in the extreme. While you are in my care you will take Wolfsbane Potion regularly. I have a half-dose for you here, so that we can observe any variations which your particular...condition exhibits and adjust the formula for maximum efficacy. You will spend the night of the moon secured in a separate structure for your own safety and the safety of my neighbors, miles away though they may be.
If at any time you become uncomfortable with the situation, I will return you to the nexus, or to this dimension.
He listened attentively, doing his best to stay silent. But as the picture unfolded, he slowly sank down into the cushion until the only thing keeping his head up was the catch of his long hair over the arm of the sofa.
Mewling, tiny sounds in the back of his throat as he curled onto his side, hands clutching at the glass as he stared straight ahead, unable to look at Snape.
"Tell Jason and Gabriel. If they tell me to go, then I will."
I will not do that, Nathaniel. You must come willingly, of your own choice.
...I am not a warm person by nature, and as I said, I have spent many years completely devoted to a cause which I have not yet won. I cannot risk everything that I have worked for, that I have...sacrificed. *For a brief moment, he stares at the fire, his face unguarded. There is pain and fear and isolation in his eyes, and a terrible determination.* I swore to bring victory, no matter what the cost...
*Blinking back to reality, he regards his whiskey* I am not trying to be cruel to you. I do not wish to deny you your friends entirely. I ask that you attempt to spend some time to yourself, so that you can come to terms with yourself.
Said so softly, in the meekest voice he has, dying inside to tell a dominant no in anything, to admit to that weakness, an inability in anything.
"I... I can't live without contact, Sir. You are not merely asking me to think for myself, or spend time alone. You are asking me to give up my most basic need. Over food. Over survival. I've nearly died for it. More than once. I can't survive without contact, Sir.'
Sighing as he slipped to the floor, curling up into a ball around the glass.
Lifting his head, lilac eyes limpid pools hazy with tears.
"I... I don't mean to disappoint but yes. The lycos virus affects us enough that we are true pack animals. We can not survive without the contact of others. Perferably pack or pard, where we can feel the beast of the other within. But contact is needed."
Sighing, turning his head and rubbing his cheek against Snape's hand, almost as if demonstrating but likely not even realizing he's doing it.
"It's not about sex, though that can work. It's.. touch. Many of us sleep in piles, as puppies and kittens do. At.. At Gabriel's? We did. Until Cherry killed the others."
I...don't know what to tell you. I wish to help, but this is not an easy time for me...
Very well. I see that I have approached this in the wrong way. What places are open to you to stay at? You have mentioned that this particular group has all paired off, which makes you somewhat uncomfortable. Do you have other friends outside this pard?
"I don't wish to be a bother, Snape sir. I... I just seek my place in the world. But... I would not wish to be a distraction that might risk your life in this war.'
Smiling, a soft smile, tender.
"Not in this world, Sir. I... I am new here. Gabriel just rescued his former pard and brought us here."
...I will make the fireplace connect to the nexus fully. As long as it is not part of the flue network, it should be safe. You can come and go as you please, and seek others when you are lonely, though I ask that you use caution when bringing others to this house.
Are you... Sir, I understand war. I have been between one in my own world. Vampires and lycans. I would... To put you at risk is not something I wish. Would.. I know Leela has this thing called a PINPoint. She can travel places with it. Would it be.. safer? I...
Just want to be useful. And endangering you is failing that.
I... I don't know, Sir. I could find out from Leela, if you wish.
I... If I could try this without dying, as I know I would without contact, though I promise to be careful, I... I would like to be helpful. Helping in a war, that's... important.
Indeed. And I can think of at least five people who would say that I need all the help I can get.
Well. You go ask Leela, and I will go ask Hermes, and we will compare notes tomorrow, granted Mr. Schuyler has not lost all patience with me.
In the meantime, I would also like you to think about where your skills lie. What you do well, and what you enjoy doing. We will find use for you yet, even should the house idea become too dangerous for both our healths to consider.
What do you think? *He regards Nathaniel with another penetrating gaze.*
That sound, a moment of joy, seems to relax Nathaniel once more. Smiling, timid but there as he nods.
"I want to help. I do. And I will ask her."
Pausing, a furrow on his brow as he considers this, seriously giving it his time and attention.
"Outside of the basic things that any in my position know? I'm a pretty good cook, I keep a really clean house and, well, Gabriel used to tell me I'd make a great wife one day.'
Smiling a little more.
"I'm smarter than most credit me for. I have a pretty good memory for things. Near photographic. Almost anything I read? I remember."
*Snape removes his hand, not ungently. His body language suggests that he is not entirely comfortable yet.*
All good to know.
Well, Mr. Nathaniel, I have a great deal to think about.
Until tomorrow?
*He stands and gives Nathaniel a nod.*
Oh, and share the rest of the bottle with your friends, with my compliments. I will be interested to hear what their impressions of this whole conversation are, and how long they spent listening behind doors.
((Snape's still a bastard. He'd send a quick little hex at the door to give anyone listening a shock, but it's not his house. ;-)
And now I must go pass out in the direction of my bed. *is ded* I'll be back on tomorrow evening!))
((Hi! Sorry I've been MIA, but I've been trapped in an airplane all evening. *shakes her fist at the weather* I'm back though. Perhaps we should talk on IM? Sev's screen name is "I Spy Slytherin" :-))
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no subject
Date: 27 Jul 2005 06:14 (UTC)'Why? I mean, not to utterly...'
Head ducking, blushing, hating his own brazeness.
"Celibacy by choice is not something I understand. And as for the rest, it... I would need know what you required of me. To be cut off from contact with others, not even sexual but in general will, over time, kill me. Literally."
no subject
Date: 27 Jul 2005 06:30 (UTC)I propose an experiment. You claim to want to serve, and I believe that you would benefit from time away from the...social structures to which you have become inured.
There is an old family home in Wales which has not been used in many years. With some attention, I believe it could become habitable again, and I am in need of a safe house and a new laboratory. If you truly wish to leave this place, you may assist me there.
It is a remote location, and I am currently very busy. There is a war... In any case, you will have ample opportunity for personal reflection. I will attempt to be as available to you as I can for discussion and company. You will earn your keep by assisting me, and will receive room and board, and a small additional salary. After the house has been dealt with, we can discuss your wishes for the future.
There is a fireplace which I will connect to the nexus so that you may communicate with your friends, but it will not allow bodily travel for you or anyone else. ((Don’t want to cut you off from the nexus totally! ;-)) This sounds extreme to you, I know, but it is for your safety and my own. As I said, there is a war, and I wish to keep this safe house as safe as possible. I imagine we will find opportunity to visit the nexus.
Allow me to take a moment to be honest with you, Mr. Nathaniel. I do not like lycanthropes. Mr. Shuyler has assured me that your condition is not like that to which I am familiar from my own world, but lycanthropy is a disease, and I consider your kind to be dangerous in the extreme. While you are in my care you will take Wolfsbane Potion regularly. I have a half-dose for you here, so that we can observe any variations which your particular...condition exhibits and adjust the formula for maximum efficacy. You will spend the night of the moon secured in a separate structure for your own safety and the safety of my neighbors, miles away though they may be.
If at any time you become uncomfortable with the situation, I will return you to the nexus, or to this dimension.
Do you understand?
no subject
Date: 27 Jul 2005 06:53 (UTC)Mewling, tiny sounds in the back of his throat as he curled onto his side, hands clutching at the glass as he stared straight ahead, unable to look at Snape.
"Tell Jason and Gabriel. If they tell me to go, then I will."
no subject
Date: 27 Jul 2005 07:02 (UTC)I will not do that, Nathaniel. You must come willingly, of your own choice.
...I am not a warm person by nature, and as I said, I have spent many years completely devoted to a cause which I have not yet won. I cannot risk everything that I have worked for, that I have...sacrificed. *For a brief moment, he stares at the fire, his face unguarded. There is pain and fear and isolation in his eyes, and a terrible determination.* I swore to bring victory, no matter what the cost...
*Blinking back to reality, he regards his whiskey*
I am not trying to be cruel to you. I do not wish to deny you your friends entirely. I ask that you attempt to spend some time to yourself, so that you can come to terms with yourself.
It is not easy, but nothing worthwhile is.
no subject
Date: 27 Jul 2005 07:11 (UTC)Said so softly, in the meekest voice he has, dying inside to tell a dominant no in anything, to admit to that weakness, an inability in anything.
"I... I can't live without contact, Sir. You are not merely asking me to think for myself, or spend time alone. You are asking me to give up my most basic need. Over food. Over survival. I've nearly died for it. More than once. I can't survive without contact, Sir.'
Sighing as he slipped to the floor, curling up into a ball around the glass.
"I would die."
no subject
Date: 27 Jul 2005 07:17 (UTC)Then what I proposed is not the answer. It is not surprising, I know little of your world. I am a stranger, after all.
Do you refer to a need for...touch? Is this tied to your lycanthropy somehow?
Nathaniel, look at me.
*A long, pale hand reaches out and grasps Nathaniel's chin, turning it gently but insistently toward the other man.*
no subject
Date: 27 Jul 2005 07:20 (UTC)"I... I don't mean to disappoint but yes. The lycos virus affects us enough that we are true pack animals. We can not survive without the contact of others. Perferably pack or pard, where we can feel the beast of the other within. But contact is needed."
Sighing, turning his head and rubbing his cheek against Snape's hand, almost as if demonstrating but likely not even realizing he's doing it.
"It's not about sex, though that can work. It's.. touch. Many of us sleep in piles, as puppies and kittens do. At.. At Gabriel's? We did. Until Cherry killed the others."
no subject
Date: 27 Jul 2005 07:25 (UTC)I...don't know what to tell you. I wish to help, but this is not an easy time for me...
Very well. I see that I have approached this in the wrong way. What places are open to you to stay at? You have mentioned that this particular group has all paired off, which makes you somewhat uncomfortable. Do you have other friends outside this pard?
((Mun will need sleep soon...))
no subject
Date: 27 Jul 2005 07:27 (UTC)Smiling, a soft smile, tender.
"Not in this world, Sir. I... I am new here. Gabriel just rescued his former pard and brought us here."
((Totally understand.))
no subject
Date: 27 Jul 2005 07:31 (UTC)...I will make the fireplace connect to the nexus fully. As long as it is not part of the flue network, it should be safe. You can come and go as you please, and seek others when you are lonely, though I ask that you use caution when bringing others to this house.
no subject
Date: 27 Jul 2005 07:33 (UTC)Just want to be useful. And endangering you is failing that.
no subject
Date: 27 Jul 2005 07:36 (UTC)Is this PINpoint device one of a kind?
I am also on fairly good terms with the god Hermes. As his domain is travel and trickery, he may be able to help.
no subject
Date: 27 Jul 2005 07:42 (UTC)I... If I could try this without dying, as I know I would without contact, though I promise to be careful, I... I would like to be helpful. Helping in a war, that's... important.
no subject
Date: 27 Jul 2005 07:50 (UTC)Indeed. And I can think of at least five people who would say that I need all the help I can get.
Well. You go ask Leela, and I will go ask Hermes, and we will compare notes tomorrow, granted Mr. Schuyler has not lost all patience with me.
In the meantime, I would also like you to think about where your skills lie. What you do well, and what you enjoy doing. We will find use for you yet, even should the house idea become too dangerous for both our healths to consider.
What do you think? *He regards Nathaniel with another penetrating gaze.*
no subject
Date: 27 Jul 2005 07:55 (UTC)"I want to help. I do. And I will ask her."
Pausing, a furrow on his brow as he considers this, seriously giving it his time and attention.
"Outside of the basic things that any in my position know? I'm a pretty good cook, I keep a really clean house and, well, Gabriel used to tell me I'd make a great wife one day.'
Smiling a little more.
"I'm smarter than most credit me for. I have a pretty good memory for things. Near photographic. Almost anything I read? I remember."
no subject
Date: 27 Jul 2005 08:05 (UTC)All good to know.
Well, Mr. Nathaniel, I have a great deal to think about.
Until tomorrow?
*He stands and gives Nathaniel a nod.*
Oh, and share the rest of the bottle with your friends, with my compliments. I will be interested to hear what their impressions of this whole conversation are, and how long they spent listening behind doors.
((Snape's still a bastard. He'd send a quick little hex at the door to give anyone listening a shock, but it's not his house. ;-)
And now I must go pass out in the direction of my bed. *is ded* I'll be back on tomorrow evening!))
no subject
Date: 27 Jul 2005 08:09 (UTC)"Thank you, Sir. I shall... On all notes.'
And he can't help but grin widely at the comment about those listening in, biting his lip not to laugh.
"Goodnight, Sir."
((*laughs* Would serve them right! And see you laters. Sweet Dreams.))
no subject
Date: 28 Jul 2005 02:59 (UTC)