Entry in Written Journal

[thewolfinside]

I hate him, that little fucking pet of Nate's. Hate them. ...and I'm so angry with her, worried about her.

Told Gabe he had to tell her, that it was better it came from him. At least he knows the history, the feelings, the truth of what happened. It's better she knows the whole story intead of getting just what they want to tell her.

I'm scared that I'm going to lose them. That she won't forgive him this time.

I'm not stupid, I know that if I hadn't asked him to stay that night... He loves her, always will.

And it'll kill him to lose her.

He closes the journal and curls up in the center of the bed, the book laying in front of him. He stares at the wall, trying not to cry or scream.

Comments

[leela1.livejournal.com]

She knocks softly on the door.

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

"Come in."

[leela1.livejournal.com]

Slips into the room, closes the door behind her. She leans against the door, stares at him. "It's true, isn't it? All of it...the feelings, the love, the - the rape.. that other guy wanting to rape me."

"It's all true*

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Nods slowly, not opening his eyes, not wanting to see the hate in her eyes.

[leela1.livejournal.com]

*quietly* That means that he told the truth.. that I forgave him, because I loved him. Even though he thinks I'm a fool for it.

And if I did it once.. I can do it again. *looks down* Thre are worse things than being a fool.

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Opens his eyes, watching her.

"Thank you."

Holds out his hand to her.

"Come here, please?"

[leela1.livejournal.com]

Slowly walks over to the bed, looks at his hand, slips her hand into his.

"Yes Jason?"

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Sits up, pulling her into his lap and hugging her.

"Love you sis, and I know you can't remember it, but I do. Don't want to lose you."

[leela1.livejournal.com]

Hugs him close, hiding her face in his hair.

"Not, not gonna lose me Jason. but I'm scared I don't even know this guy. I mean..I did, but.. you know?"

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Pulls back, looking her sadly.

"I already did though. You don't remember me, don't remember why we sort of adopted each other..."

Shrugs and looks down at his lap.

"I don't even know why you're trusting me now."

[leela1.livejournal.com]

She shrugs, looks at the wall behind him, then back at him. "I started trusting you because Cordy did - not that I knew her to trust her. And now that I know you a little better?"

"Jason, it feels right to trust you. It just.. feels right."

"Why did we adopt each other, anyway?"

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Shakes his head.

"I'm not answering that one, you'll just have to remember on your own. I'll just tell you that we both went through hell and came out alive."

[leela1.livejournal.com]

She nods.

"Good enough. My brain is broken enough for one night. Can I sleep here - on your side of the bed? Not that I don't, well - you know. Let me get used to the situation first? "

"Unless you want me to sleep some place else."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

He nods, picks up his journal and moves off the bed, putting in in the nightstand drawer.

"Sure, you can cuddle up with us, it's completely your decision. Just... he has nightmares and after this evening, they might be pretty bad."

[leela1.livejournal.com]

"I would like to, if you want. And if there's a problem? - least I can do.. we can all face them together Jason. "

That's what family does, right?"

She climbs into bed, curls up and looks at him. "Good night Jason. And - thank you."