AU Dream Scene again

[thewolfinside]

He had almost missed his train out of town, then spent the next three days hating himself. For giving in and going back to the one place he hated. For leaving the way he did. He had lasted twenty four hours, then turned everything over to the highest bidder and left town.

He heard the news within minutes of getting off the train and his self-loathing increased tenfold. He quickly gathers his things and retrieves his horse and then he rides right for the Double R.

Once there, he drops the reins, not bothering to tie his mount and knocks on the door. Worries when he doesn't get an answer and checks the barn and bunkhouse, not finding anyone. Then feels like a fool when he figures out why.

Her funeral would be today. Thinks for a few seconds about going, then decides against it. He's not sure if he'll even be welcome after all that had happened this two weeks. By Gabriel or Jase.

So he sits on the porch, up against the wall by the door, waiting.

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[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

This week was becoming insanity. It couldn't be real. There was no way this ws real. He would wake up and Jason would be sweet and virginal on Ms Donna's porch. And Rose would be chasing after Jase, eager to lift her skirts, as it were, for him.

And his life wouldn't be this horrid pit of despair.

His mount luckily knew her way home, as Gabriel couldn't see a thing past his tears. His little girl was buried, gone and he was going home to an empty house. Scud had offered to stay with him but Gabriel had shoved money at him and sent him with Ray to the saloon.

He needed to be alone. He needed to weep. He needed...

"Jason?"

His mount stopping at the edge of the porch, stomping, waiting for him to dismount as he stared, dumbfounded at the man that had left him.

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Watches the horse and rider approach, knowing instinctively that Gabe isn't paying attention. Every part of him aching at the sight of the man, the pain he was in.

Standing, walking to the edge of the porch, his eyes on Gabe, his hands tucked in his pockets to hide their shaking.

"Yeah. Couldn't stay away."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Sliding off the horse, barely keeping his balance. He hadn't been quite sober since Ray'd told him and today was the most sober he'd been.

Just for her.

"So... guess ya heard."

Making it to the bottom step of the porch and collapsing onto it.

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"Fuck, Gabriel..."

Down the stairs and catching Gabriel before the man can fall over, wrapping his arms around him. Unable to do anymore than hold onto him, not letting go.

"I'm sorry, so sorry, Gabriel."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

He didn't want to do this. But he had to. He couldn't keep bottling it up. Clinging to Jason, burying his face to the man's chest.

"He shot her. And left her in the street like a fucking dog. Just... Dead. Just fuckin left here there."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Closing his eyes, his hand winding into Gabriel's hair, knocking his hat onto the steps. Not thinking about what he's doing, just trying to offer any comfort he can as he kisses Gabriel's temple.

Sits there quietly, holding Gabriel, tears forming as he thinks of what Gabriel's lost. Not knowing how to comfort the man other than to hold him as he's doing now.

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

That soft touch has him turning his head, kissing Jason softly. More for comfort than anything else.

"Why? Why are you here? You left... Jase toldcha? Telegram about her death? I ain't seen the boy... Worried about him."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Shakes his head softly.

"Didn't find out 'til I got off the train. Came back 'cause I couldn't stay away from you."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"You... for me?'

Blinking past his tears, gazing up at Jason almost as if he were a lost little boy.

"I missed you."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"Missed you too."

Shaking again, kissing Gabe again and then nodding to the house.

"It'll be more comfortable inside."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, besides, more whiskey in there. Need it.'

Trying to rise, falling back on the stairs and sighing.

"Help me in?"

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Nods, standing and pulling Gabe to his feet, wrapping an arm around him and helping him up the stairs.

"Want to stay downstairs, or go on upstairs?"

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Pausing, looking around the house he'd built for her, the one he'd shared with her.

"Upstairs. Please? Stay.. Stay with me."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Heads for the stairs, concentrating on getting Gabriel up them without both of them falling and breaking their necks, not paying attention to his words.

"Yeah, for as long as you'll let me stay."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

But Gabriel heard them. And his heart sang a tiny bit.

"Long as yer mine.'

Whispered softly as he fell onto his ass on the bed, tugging Jason to him.

"And ya are mine."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"I am?"

The words whispered as he straddles Gabriel's lap and nuzzles his throat.

"Who do you belong to?"

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Shivering, hips writhing at the feeling of Jason over him.

"I... I... You and Scud. You have to know that. He and I go back and he's mine and I do love him and...'

Biting his lips, fingers twining through Jason's hair.

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"I understand."

He did, he was second to the cowhand, he could deal with it as long as he had a little piece of Gabriel's heart, as long as he meant -something-.

"Where's the whiskey?"

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"Over on the dresser.'

BUt even as he said it, he held tight to Jason's hair, kissing him soundly.

"You said something before you left. I hadn't realized the truth until you were gone but.. I love you."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

A small smile, nodding slowly. Not knowing if the words were a blessing or a curse, but taking them anyway.

"And I love you, you knew that though."

Pulling Gabriel's fingers from his hair as he pushes off the bed, he goes to the dresser and grabs the bottle. He brings it back, kicking off his boots on the way, and then hands it to Gabriel.

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

He waits, silent as Jason crosses the room. Kicking off his own boots, laying back on the bed with his legs dangling over the edge.

"I know she was a pain in the ass but.. .She really was a good woman.'

Feeling the tears coming on thicker, trickling down his cheeks as he took the bottle, just holding it.

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Stretches out next to Gabriel, running his fingers through the man's hair.

"She was a great woman, and she didn't deserve what happened to her."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"Never.. never told anyone this. Not Scud. Not even her. Her mama... She was the daughter of my own Pa's maid. We lived back East and Mama was big on all the right things, so we had a maid.'

Leaning up, taking a pull on the whiskey.


"She was part Injun, pretty little thing. I think she had some of that french creole in her too. Made her, bout negro really. But she was... She was mine for a time."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Lays there, his fingers lightly brushing Gabriel's side, listening to him talk. He never would have guessed that Gabriel was from the big city area, figured he was west born and raised.

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"She... She was killed right after Rose was born. I mean, the girl was not even a month old. Some boys got liquored up and... And they were dead by dawn. But they'd hurt her too bad. She died before I could get her to the Doc."

Turning slightly, nuzzling himself against Jason.

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"I'm sorry."

Kissing Gabe softly, stroking his cheek.

"Is that when you came here?"

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Purring at the kiss, a rumbling sound that he looked embarassed about.

"Couldn't stay there. Rose, she was... she had my skin tones. I knew if we stayed, she'd be branded. But a new life, a new place... And no one ever knew. Not a one."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Smiles, kissing Gabriel again.

"It wouldn't have mattered to most of us anyway."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I know that now. But.. after ya live a lie for so long? You can't remember the truth."

Cuddling closer, nipping at Jason's chin, lapping along his jaw.

"And I feel guilty that I wantcha when I just put my little girl six feet under."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Pulling back to look into Gabriel's eyes, deadly serious.

"Never feel guilty for livin', it does no honor to her memory."

Sitting up, taking the bottle as he does and setting it on the floor. Turns and lays down, pulling Gabriel to him. A simple kiss at first, then passionate, trying to tell Gabriel how he feels with that one kiss.