(no subject)

[thewolfinside]

I lied to him. Told him Ella had a fever and I was going to stay home with her. and wouldn't be there to see him

I fucking lied to him. Because I didn't want him to worry about me. Didn't want him to know about the nightmares, because then he would have insisted on coming home.

He won't get better if he keeps coming home to take care of my dumb ass.

And he's going to be pissed when he reads this.



Closes the journal and curls up against the slide, once again hiding out on the playset. Close enough to hear Ella if she needed him, but far enough away that he didn't have to deal with the others.

The nightmares had been so damn real. Of Gabe not coming home, of the doc saying he would never get better.

Of Gabe deciding to leave him rather than take the chance of hurting him again.

"Fuck."

Scrubbing at his face with his tshirt, wiping away the tears. Just the thought of that was enough to make it hard to breathe.

"I can do this. I have to do this."

The words whispered as he drops his head to his knees, trying to convince himself that he could.