(no subject)

[thewolfinside]

Jason tucks Ella in beside him as she falls asleep, drawing on the front of his journal. The simple red book now looks like a brick wall covered in graffitti, which has block letters reading "Read if you wish" on the front. Sometimes it's easier to throw the book at someone than verbally explain what's going on in his head.



Em's home. Gorgeous called this morning, said she was sending her home. Got to talk with my Emma for a bit, haven't done that in a while. Miss her.

Introduced Ray to Scud, that was fun. Was joking around with Scud and upset Gabe, didn't mean too, because it was just a joke, but it was enough to set me off. I hate being like that, wanting to just go find a dark corner and curl into a ball. Then he went with me when I walked it off. Yeah, that was enjoyable. I walked along kicking things, he followed. All I wanted to do was to go for a walk by myself, to figure out the thoughts and put them in an order that made sense to me, to anyone.

It's hard to think when he's around, 'cause I worry about being a burden to him. He doesn't need this shit, not after figuring himself out. And yes, he says I'm not, my heart knows this, but it doesn't always process in my head.

Was suppossed to go to Reno's tonight, didn't. I'll need to call and apologize, something. Don't know what happened, one second I was bouncy and having fun. Next thing, I wanted to go crawl in bed, pull the covers over me and forget the world existed. Can't remember what I was thinking of either, so much shit was running through my head.

Appointment with Betsy tonight, need to get on the meds. This is driving the others more than a little insane, they probably hate me right now. Can't be easy taking turns looking out for the crazy one. Didn't even get to do more than wave hi to Em before the boys were dragging her off. Ray's bouncing around, alternating between annoying Gabe and following Scud around. Sin is a freaking shadow. If she's not upstairs doing schoolwork (I think she's the only one who is actually doing it. Haven't been checking on the others, hope Gabe is.), then she's upstairs reading or drawing while listening to the headphones. Her own form of therapy I guess.

Mood: Shitty
Day: Started good, but sucks now




Tosses the journal on the coffee table and shifts Ella, stretching out on the couch and laying the sleeping child on his chest. Softly kisses the top of her head and closes his eyes, trying to get a nap in before someone came home and woke her up.

Comments

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"Wanna bet?"

He drops Ray on the bed next to Gabe and Nathaniel, smirking at him.

"Little bit of barbeque sauce, roast you over an open flame..."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Still in human form, wrapping around the leopard beside him. Tears in his eyes, his face shiny with them as he purred and nuzzled at the leopard that had once been his special kitten.

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

Ray skittered across the bedsheets to land half on Gabe, burrowing in. "JASON'S GONNA EAT ME!"

Pausing he grins and starts to gnaw on a bit of loose shirt, thrusting his bandaged hand up.

Through the fabric comes "An' now I'm'a leopard!"

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Circles the bed to lay on Nathaniel's other side, grinning at Ray's words. Crawls on the bed and kisses Gabe lightly, brushing at the tears and then curling up against the leopard.

"Ray, shuddup and laydown. Your body is gonna crash soon."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Smirking at Ray, rolling his eyes.

"You better hope. Or he gets to do it again." Pausing, smiling at his mate, mouthing the words. It's okay.

"So, kiddo. Mincer?"

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

"Wadd'about Mincer?" Ray spits out the shirt and curls in, eyes closed. "I'm sleeping. Don't bother me."

Some extremely fake snores follow for a couple of seconds before one eye pops open to see if they're falling for it.

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Jason buries his face in Nathaniel's fur to muffle his laugh, petting the leopard.

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"Ray, I won't ask again. Nor will I let it go. Tell me now or I swear I will turn you upside down until you tell me everything. And you know I will.' Rolling over onto his back, wrapping an arm around the kid.

"He's dead now. Tell me."

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

Ray burrows in tighter. "Don' wanna."

He sighs, aware the threat will probably get carried through. "It was only da once. After. He said I couldn't tell because then he would do more den eat me.

"S'why I said what he did wasn't ..rape. 'Cause it wasn't and dis wasn't really, either, but. And so okay, he licked but he always licked but he was moaning this time and he rubbed himself and me. You... know."

Ray stops and curls in tighter, shuddering a bit. "Fucktard. It wasn't rape."

[sweet-masochism.livejournal.com]

The sound was low. So low. A whine in the back of his throat. But suddenly thrashing, almost clawing Gabe as the leopard sprung from the bed. Mewling pitifully as he bolted through the door.

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Jason reaches over and pulls Ray to his side of the bed, nodding at Gabe and mouthing 'Go after him'.

He pulls the blanket around Ray and lays down.

"Go to sleep kiddo, everything will be okay."

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

Tiny arms reach up and wrap around Jason's neck after a minute.

Finally the shuddering dies down and a sleepy sigh escapes him. "Kids have too many emotions.... Gonna make it to --" He's interupted by his own yawn. "Gonna make it to twenty. Gonna do it. Won't be screwed up like dis no more....Right?"

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"Kiddo, adults have just as many emotions, we just usually learn to hide them better. Trust me on this."

Laughs a bit and shakes his head.

"You're not screwed up, and it will get better."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Pausing, watching the two. Glad they can't see his face, the golden eyes, the elongated fangs. Barely making it to the backdoor before he drops, shifting, following Nathaniel by scent.

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

As his eyes open and close, Ray grows.

He buries his head further in Jason's chest. "Think I'll ever make it to fourty? Wadd'ya gonna do if I don't?"

His head turns a bit to watch Gabe leave, frowning. "....Are they okay?"

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"You'll make it to forty, as long as you remember to knock if the bedroom door is closed."

Shakes his head, closing his eyes.

"Told you, Nathaniel has issues and what you said about Mincer reminded him a few of them. He'll be okay, eventually."

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

A light fist smacks against Jason's shoulder. "Meant physically, you punce. Haven't you thought about it yet? I've only ever been seventeen or five."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"Yes, they're okay. Now, go to sleep before I knock you out."

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

A tired chuckle and Ray's breath finally evens out.

He's still got a death-grip on Jason's shirtfront, however.