(no subject)
14 September 2005 09:14![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thewolfinsideJason sat curled up in the corner of the playset, head still resting on his knees. He'd barely moved since the evening before, having been unable to sleep because of the nightmares. He knew the others were checking up on him, they kept the backdoor open and one of them came out to check on him every half hour or so.
Even Sin had been roped into 'Jason Watch'.
Betsy had called him several times, but he ignored the call, letting it go to voicemail each time. He knew she was upset with him after last night's session, but he wasn't doing what she wanted. Not now, maybe not ever.
Even Sin had been roped into 'Jason Watch'.
Betsy had called him several times, but he ignored the call, letting it go to voicemail each time. He knew she was upset with him after last night's session, but he wasn't doing what she wanted. Not now, maybe not ever.
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 14:15 (UTC)"Jason's out back."
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 14:18 (UTC)"Thanks, Man."
Striding out the back door, pausing on the deck.
"So...' Said softly, striding down the stairs.
"I killed a pedophile, got bored, came home. Seems my therapy is murder. You?"
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 14:21 (UTC)Pale with dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep, those eyes dark with fear and pain.
"...my therapy sucks."
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 14:22 (UTC)"Wanna find a pedophile?"
Smirking, sinking down to one knee before his mate.
"So, uhmmm, fuck this shit. I'll take drugs, I'll fucking give up my alpha. Anything. Just dont' make me go back? Don't send me away?"
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 14:24 (UTC)"Won't let you go back."
He looks down, gnawing on his lip.
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 14:29 (UTC)Arching a brow as he flicked away the half smoked cigarette.
"Why aren't you holding me?"
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 14:42 (UTC)"'m sorry."
Moves slowly to his knees, wrapping his arms around Gabriel. No sooner does his head touch his husbands chest does he start shaking and crying.
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 14:45 (UTC)Rocking him, dropping down onto his ass, pulling his mate into his arms. Holding him tight, cradling that lithe form tightly to his own.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I've been a fool. A stupid man. I'm sorry."
His own tears coming hot and fast, bowing his head and nuzzling into Jason's hair.
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 14:49 (UTC)Burying his face in Gabe's neck, clinging to him, his words muffled.
"She wasn't going to let me come home."
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 14:53 (UTC)"Don't ever let her in the same state with me, pup.'
Tones low, deadly.
"I'm not playing games with you and I anymore. We come first. Our life. Us. You and me and Ella. Then Scud. Reno. The rest. Us first."
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 14:59 (UTC)"She was worried, thinks I'm going to do something, even if I don't mean too."
Laughs harshly, wiping at the tears.
"She wants to put me on a fucking suicide watch."
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 15:03 (UTC)"Are you? Suicidal?"
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 15:16 (UTC)The words whispered, scared. Of himself, of Gabe's reaction. Rocking a bit, his arms wrapped around himself, holding tightly to his shirt.
"Can't sleep because of the nightmares, stupid thoughts in my head because I can't stop thinking. I don't plan on it, but she thinks I would hurt myself without realising I was doing it."
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 15:21 (UTC)Moving, sliding so that he could look Jason in the eyes.
"What have I done? What isn't being done? What do you, YOU, Jason Schuyler, need?"
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 15:31 (UTC)"You left, in the dreams. They told you the only way to keep from killing me was to leave and they wouldn't let you out until you agreed to leave me. And you left and the others went with you, all of them. And I was alone again."
Shaking visibly, he shrugs, looking away.
"You can't do anything, it's in my fucking head. Depression and shit."
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 15:37 (UTC)"Do I seem that strong, Jason? Take this as fucking bad as it sounds but I would almost rather kill us both than voluntarily walk away from you."
Yanking Jason to him, cuddling him close.
"We can do this, dammit. We can. Us. Baby, please, tell me we can."
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 15:38 (UTC)no subject
Date: 14 Sep 2005 15:50 (UTC)"Do you have faith in us, baby? In me?"
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 16:02 (UTC)"You. I have faith in you."
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 16:10 (UTC)Smiling, realization hitting him.
"It's simple. We need to decide what we need to make us happy and trustful and how to get it. At one point? That was killing Raina. She's dead. Now what?"
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 16:19 (UTC)"I have faith in you, it's myself I don't trust."
Shrugs, looking toward the house.
"Be happy? Have the pard happy? I don't know."
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 16:25 (UTC)Snapping out the words, growling.
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 16:44 (UTC)"sorry."
Unsure what he's apologizing for, just saying it.
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 16:49 (UTC)"Fuck."
All of the wind leaving his sails, looking small and weak and scared.
"Don't say sorry, baby. Say you wanna try."
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 16:54 (UTC)His voice hoarse, breaking as he speaks.
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 16:58 (UTC)no subject
Date: 14 Sep 2005 17:12 (UTC)Wraps his arms around Gabe, crying again, shaking his head and whispering between sobs.
"Need you, can't... Don't leave me, please don't leave me."
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 17:15 (UTC)Snarling out the words even as he clings to Jason, holding him tight.
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 17:27 (UTC)Whispering the words over and over as he cries himself to sleep, his body finally giving in to exhaustion.
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Date: 14 Sep 2005 17:28 (UTC)"I don't deserve shit,' he whispers to him. 'I have exactly what I want. You. Dammit, baby, get that. I want you. Love you.'