(no subject)

[thewolfinside]

Jason tucks Ella in beside him as she falls asleep, drawing on the front of his journal. The simple red book now looks like a brick wall covered in graffitti, which has block letters reading "Read if you wish" on the front. Sometimes it's easier to throw the book at someone than verbally explain what's going on in his head.



Em's home. Gorgeous called this morning, said she was sending her home. Got to talk with my Emma for a bit, haven't done that in a while. Miss her.

Introduced Ray to Scud, that was fun. Was joking around with Scud and upset Gabe, didn't mean too, because it was just a joke, but it was enough to set me off. I hate being like that, wanting to just go find a dark corner and curl into a ball. Then he went with me when I walked it off. Yeah, that was enjoyable. I walked along kicking things, he followed. All I wanted to do was to go for a walk by myself, to figure out the thoughts and put them in an order that made sense to me, to anyone.

It's hard to think when he's around, 'cause I worry about being a burden to him. He doesn't need this shit, not after figuring himself out. And yes, he says I'm not, my heart knows this, but it doesn't always process in my head.

Was suppossed to go to Reno's tonight, didn't. I'll need to call and apologize, something. Don't know what happened, one second I was bouncy and having fun. Next thing, I wanted to go crawl in bed, pull the covers over me and forget the world existed. Can't remember what I was thinking of either, so much shit was running through my head.

Appointment with Betsy tonight, need to get on the meds. This is driving the others more than a little insane, they probably hate me right now. Can't be easy taking turns looking out for the crazy one. Didn't even get to do more than wave hi to Em before the boys were dragging her off. Ray's bouncing around, alternating between annoying Gabe and following Scud around. Sin is a freaking shadow. If she's not upstairs doing schoolwork (I think she's the only one who is actually doing it. Haven't been checking on the others, hope Gabe is.), then she's upstairs reading or drawing while listening to the headphones. Her own form of therapy I guess.

Mood: Shitty
Day: Started good, but sucks now




Tosses the journal on the coffee table and shifts Ella, stretching out on the couch and laying the sleeping child on his chest. Softly kisses the top of her head and closes his eyes, trying to get a nap in before someone came home and woke her up.

Comments

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

Ray waves slightly before settlingdown on the couch, sitting on his hands.

"...What am I telling him again?" Blinking slightly, as Jason is gone.

[sweet-masochism.livejournal.com]

Changing before another was not something Nathaniel could do. Even Lee would likely never see it. But the small leopard that padded in paused, sniffing the air, canting his head at the boy.

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

Shifting off his hands, Ray holds one out. "Hi. Um. Yeah. Hi."

He shifts again. "What're we doing now? Oh. Jason said I should talk about Mincer. He tried to eat me. And licked me and stuff."

A pause. "Um. Stuff. Yeah." He clamps his free hand over his mouth so the next bit is muffled. "I'm not babbling. See?"

[sweet-masochism.livejournal.com]

Padding closer, the leopard snuffles along Ray's hand and wrist before plopping down beside him. Eyes golden,bright and he headbutts the boy lightly to continue.

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

"Oh. Storytime, huh?" Ray slides down to sit beside Nathaniel and thinks. "So, alright. here's the thing. I killed this guy, see? And they put me in a loony bin.

"But the loony bin was filled with, well, um, loonies -- not those coins, real loonies -- and they had this thing for kids and I'm a kid either way you look at it so this one guy. Mincer. He's crazier than most. He liked to corner me and pin me down and lick me and nibble and tell me how he was gonna cook me and I was freaked but the guards tried and couldn't do anything because, I mean, there aren't many and at night there are even less because it's night so he'd --"

Ray takes a deep breath. "Hi, I'm Ray."

[sweet-masochism.livejournal.com]

As he speaks, the growl begins to rumble through Nathaniel. Hatred, anger, rage. His own inability to ever protect himself. Snarling, lip curling as he does something perhaps no one has ever heard.

He roars.

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

Giving a little shriek, Ray slides back. "Nice kitty!"

[sweet-masochism.livejournal.com]

Purring suddenly, Nathaniel dropped his head to Ray's side, crouching down. Fearful, scared. Submissive.

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

"Guh. Don't ...do that? Nice kitty?" Ray pats the air in front of Nathaniel, wincing a bit. "No more roaring, right? I just... keep silent and you don't roar and then the biting happens and we are done, you cn change back, we can have a decent conversation over tea and crumpets and forget this whole conversationever happened.

"And we don't tell Gabe that anything other than licking or nibbling occured. Deal?"

[sweet-masochism.livejournal.com]

Not moving. Trembling. Golden eyes closing as he did nothing more than lay there.

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

"Nod once for 'no telling Gabe' and twice fer 'fuck off and die, little boy'." Ray seems to have calmed down and continues to pat the air almost absently.

[sweet-masochism.livejournal.com]

One small nod of his furred head. Then raising slightly, his tonge darting over Ray's arm.

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

The boy giggles. "Tickles."

He scoots in. "You know, yer pretty cool, what with the no telling Gabe and the no-longer scaring me thing."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Jason sneaks in slowly, and crouches behind Ray.

"BOO!"

[sweet-masochism.livejournal.com]

Purring, nuzzling at Ray...

and then jumping at the sound, falling off the sofa.

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

Ray shrieks, flailing his arms about, eyes tightly closed. "I TALKED ABOUT HIM AND THEN HE CAME AND I NEVER SAID A THING, MINCE--"

One eye pops open.

"....You BASTARD." One little arm smacks at Jason's chest.

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Jason goes suddenly still and sits down, pulling Ray into his lap.

"What was that? About Mincer?"

He looks down at Nathaniel and winces.

"Sorry, kitten."

[sweet-masochism.livejournal.com]

Panting, eyes closed. Merely laying there. Old reflexes kicking in. If he stayed still, he wouldn't be hurt. And he knew that tones, that air, coming from Jason.

And he could hear Gabriel in the bedroom.

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

Settling in, Ray looks down at Nathaniel. "You killed him, Jason. He was a nice kitty."

Manouvering so he's sitting on his hands, the boy shakes his head. "There wasn't NOTHIN' about Mincer. You were hearinf things, mommy."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"I didn't kill him, I scared him. And I know what I heard. What did you mean when I scared you?"

He lets the mommy thing slide in favor of reaching down and petting Nathaniel.

"And where do you want the bite at?"

[sweet-masochism.livejournal.com]

Barely arching into Jason's hand, his purr growing louder as he too waited for the boy to answer.

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

"Bite? Bit-- oh. Right. My hand." Ray slides his right hand out from underneath him and holds it out. "Less of the vampire-ness and more of the cool scar-ness, don't you think?"

He blithly dodges the first half, instead alomost bouncing with eagerness.

[sweet-masochism.livejournal.com]

Lifting his head, blinking baleful golden eyes. Lapping at the back of Ray's hand before those eyes closed.

A flash of fangs and then they are sinking into the young boy's hand.

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

A whimper of pain and Ray almost jerks his hand backwards before shifting his other hand to hold it in place.

"Does it take l-long?"

He starts counting animals he knows in his head.

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Jason wraps his arms around Ray, one hand covering the boy's on his arm.

"Not long. Just close your eyes and think about Sunday night when you'll turn into a leopard and chase Scud and me around the yard."