(no subject)

[thewolfinside]

Jason is sprawled on the couch, watching the only channel he has memorized, The Cheerleading Channel, while waiting for Emma.

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[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"Do I lie to you, pup?'

Asked softly, eyes hooded, searching Jason's face.

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Shakes his head, clenching his hands. Winces at the pain and looks up at Gabriel.

"Don't... not now. Please."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Both hands gently taking Jason's face between them, holding his gaze, meeting his eyes.

"So you aren't fine.' Stated, not asked. 'When do you prefer? When Scud wrecks his bike? When I'm a basket case after the punisment? When Lee shifts? When? When do you want to be honest with me and rely on me like I keep relyin on you?"

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Looks at Gabriel, going numb as he speaks.

"After Emma... Just after, okay."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"No."

Stated softly, flat, shaking his head.

"I can't live with that, pup. I can't live with you bein there for me every time I fuckin slip, every time I screw up and yet... You ain't willin to give me the same."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Turns away, looking at the ceiling.

"Yes. Who's going to take care of everyone while you're recovering from... Dammit Gabe, I'm your second, I'm not allowed to fall apart."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"And there are those that would say that the alpha can't either. But I'm damn fuckin good at it.'

Growling, hand grabbing Jason's jaw, trying to bring the wolf's gaze back to his.

"Who's gonna take care of you, Jason? When the fuck are you gonna stop bein the tough guy and suck it the fuck up that you aren't alone, that you have friends and that you have a lover that wants to see ya happy and healthy. Not bottling shit up and pretendin yer fine while lyin to my face."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Allows Gabriel to turn his head, not saying anything.

"I know I'm not alone, and I know you want me happy, but right now I can't fall apart. I can't."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"Do you trust me?'

Asked softly, almost innocently, calmly. A serious question.

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Blinks, nodding.

"Yes."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"As your Alpha? Your friend? Your lover?'

Fingers loosening, stroking back Jason's hair, staring into those bright blue eyes.

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Confused, staring at Gabriel.

"Yes."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"Then why won't you trust me with your pain?"


Asked softly, leaning down to tenderly press his lips to Jason.

"Why can't you let me in?"

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Closes his eyes for a moment, then looks at Gabriel again.

"I do and I will."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Sighs, releasing Jason and rolling over onto this back.

"When?"

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Sits up and turns, looking down at Gabriel.

"After this is over. When it's done, when you're back together, I'll fall apart then."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"No. I can't... Can't do that to you, pup.'

Hooded eyes staring up at Jason, looking pained.

'I'm the alpha here. I'm the one that has to keep it together. And putting this on you is killin me, kid. I'll... I'll figure out how to handle it. I'll make it. I'm a survivor, kid. You know that."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"I don't remembering offering any choice in the matter."

Shakes his head, frowning.

"How the HELL are you suppossed to handle anything when you're trying to keep from shooting yourself in the head? Explain that to me."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"You know, I haven't thought about that in days... But when you put it like that...'

Twisting, slipping off the bed and fighting not to pace.

"Maybe it'd be a better sitch for everyone is I did. I mean, one less burden for ya right?"

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Stares at the bed where Gabriel was laying, body tense.

Quietly. "Not funny."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"Lil's in jail. I... I fuckin raped Leela and yer on the verge of a breakdown.'

Whimpering softly, dropping down to sit on the edge of the bed, head in his hands.

"I'm blowin it, kid. Big time."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"Lil's in jail because she was fucking stupid."

Doesn't look over, doesn't move.

"You're not. And everything thing else is being fixed."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"Tell me whatcher thinkin.'

Demanded not asked, still hunched over, eyes closed.

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Doesn't answer, just sits there, staring at the bed.

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Shifting, turning to face Jason. Hand gentle but insistant on his arm, yanking him closer.

"Answer me, pup. Please."