(no subject)

[thewolfinside]

Jason tucks Ella in beside him as she falls asleep, drawing on the front of his journal. The simple red book now looks like a brick wall covered in graffitti, which has block letters reading "Read if you wish" on the front. Sometimes it's easier to throw the book at someone than verbally explain what's going on in his head.



Em's home. Gorgeous called this morning, said she was sending her home. Got to talk with my Emma for a bit, haven't done that in a while. Miss her.

Introduced Ray to Scud, that was fun. Was joking around with Scud and upset Gabe, didn't mean too, because it was just a joke, but it was enough to set me off. I hate being like that, wanting to just go find a dark corner and curl into a ball. Then he went with me when I walked it off. Yeah, that was enjoyable. I walked along kicking things, he followed. All I wanted to do was to go for a walk by myself, to figure out the thoughts and put them in an order that made sense to me, to anyone.

It's hard to think when he's around, 'cause I worry about being a burden to him. He doesn't need this shit, not after figuring himself out. And yes, he says I'm not, my heart knows this, but it doesn't always process in my head.

Was suppossed to go to Reno's tonight, didn't. I'll need to call and apologize, something. Don't know what happened, one second I was bouncy and having fun. Next thing, I wanted to go crawl in bed, pull the covers over me and forget the world existed. Can't remember what I was thinking of either, so much shit was running through my head.

Appointment with Betsy tonight, need to get on the meds. This is driving the others more than a little insane, they probably hate me right now. Can't be easy taking turns looking out for the crazy one. Didn't even get to do more than wave hi to Em before the boys were dragging her off. Ray's bouncing around, alternating between annoying Gabe and following Scud around. Sin is a freaking shadow. If she's not upstairs doing schoolwork (I think she's the only one who is actually doing it. Haven't been checking on the others, hope Gabe is.), then she's upstairs reading or drawing while listening to the headphones. Her own form of therapy I guess.

Mood: Shitty
Day: Started good, but sucks now




Tosses the journal on the coffee table and shifts Ella, stretching out on the couch and laying the sleeping child on his chest. Softly kisses the top of her head and closes his eyes, trying to get a nap in before someone came home and woke her up.

Comments

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"I know, but if something had happened to him, Tam would know. So right now we assume he's alive and well, just not able to contact us." Shakes his head. "You're better. I'm getting there." Glances at the clock. "And my appointment is in an hour, so if we want to talk to Ray..."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Mention of the appointment makes him wince, whimpering. "Might as well. You know? First thing he's gotta learn? We can smell him a hundred yards off.' Smirking, turning his head towards the door. "Makes listening in a hard thing to do, Ray. Just so you know.' Calling out a little bit louder, making sure he knew that part was for him.

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

Peeking his head in, expression sheepish. "Uh, yeah. I'll try to keep that in mind."

He slinks over to stand beside Jason, shifting from foot to foot. "So. Um. Me."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"You. Sit. Gabe won't do it, so if you really, really want to do this, you have to choose between Scud, Zane and Nathaniel. And then we ask them."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Staring up at Ray, expression neutral. "Sorry, kid. I can't trust myself."

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

Ray sits. "S'alright, Gabe."

Settling back he pulls one knee up. "I've only met Zane and Scud a couple of times and ...who's Nathaniel? You guys seemed to think he'd be good. Fer both of us."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Jason looks to Gabe to answer this one.

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"Nathaniel is a leopard from my original pard. This is my second. He is one of the three surviving members. Me and Zane are the other two. Nathaniel is a submissive. He's shy, soft spoken and currently living in Wales with a Professor from Tam's world. A dark, creepy bastard but Nathaniel seems to love him."

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

"And... he would come all the way here... just to change me or turn me or whatever?"

Ray tucks his head on top of his knee. "And you'd be okay with this? With me, if I were a Pard member fer real?"

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"I'm not sure, we'd have to talk to him."

Reaches over and ruffles Ray's hair.

"And if I had a problem with it, we wouldn't be discussing who was going to make you."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"Between pinpoint and the nexus? Coming here is not all that hard. I wouldn't send you there cause, well, Snape is weird.' Grins at that.

"WE don't have a problem. We want you to be sure. There's no cure. No going back. And.. we can't guarantee what might happen. With your mutation."

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

"I can't guarantee that I won't die tomorrow because someone slipped me one too many aspirins." He leans into Jason's hand.

"Anyway, I want it. I really do. Please?"

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Sighs and looks at Gabe. "You want to call or do you want me to?"

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"You do it. He doesn't trust me. And he shouldn't."

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

"It'd be sort of wierd if I called." Ray manages a grin. "'Hi, I'm the newst kitten -- bite me?'"

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Jason laughs and stands, then goes in the kitchen to call.

[sweet-masochism.livejournal.com]

He appears in a moment. And as he does, Gabe slinks from the room ((Cause I ain't doing that tonight. Ha)). Nathaniel sighs, but then offers a shy smile.

"Jason around?"

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

Ray points after a moment, only slighty phased. "Um. Over. And yeah. Hi?"

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Jason snickers as he walks in, wrapping his arms around Nathaniel from behind and resting his chin on the leopard's shoulder.

"Nathaniel, this is Ray. Ray, this is Nathaniel."

[sweet-masochism.livejournal.com]

His purr is instant, Lee gone so long and his need for contact, for pard so great.

"Missed you, Jason.' Turning his head, nuzzling at Jason's cheek with a sigh. "Miss.. him too.' Nodding the way Gabe had gone, frowning. "So he's the new cub to be?"

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

Ray sighs. "Cub? Do I really have to be called c--" Ray cuts off as he sneezes.

"Alright. I see yer point. MOVING ALONG."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Groans, closing his eyes.

"All the newbies are called cubs, Ray."

Suddenly blinks.

"Well, shit. Nathaniel, are you still up for this?"

[sweet-masochism.livejournal.com]

Silent. Looking up from that nuzzle, loving Jason's scent, Gabriel's lingering scent on him. But then...

"He's... Jason?!!?"

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

Ray blinks up. "I'm not Jason. He's Jason."

Said tartly.

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Hugs Nathaniel tighter, sticking his tongue out at Ray.

"He's a mutant. That's his mutation. He sneezes and turns into a five year old for a period of time. We're hoping that learning to control the beast will help him in controlling his mutant power."