(no subject)

[thewolfinside]

Jason tucks Ella in beside him as she falls asleep, drawing on the front of his journal. The simple red book now looks like a brick wall covered in graffitti, which has block letters reading "Read if you wish" on the front. Sometimes it's easier to throw the book at someone than verbally explain what's going on in his head.



Em's home. Gorgeous called this morning, said she was sending her home. Got to talk with my Emma for a bit, haven't done that in a while. Miss her.

Introduced Ray to Scud, that was fun. Was joking around with Scud and upset Gabe, didn't mean too, because it was just a joke, but it was enough to set me off. I hate being like that, wanting to just go find a dark corner and curl into a ball. Then he went with me when I walked it off. Yeah, that was enjoyable. I walked along kicking things, he followed. All I wanted to do was to go for a walk by myself, to figure out the thoughts and put them in an order that made sense to me, to anyone.

It's hard to think when he's around, 'cause I worry about being a burden to him. He doesn't need this shit, not after figuring himself out. And yes, he says I'm not, my heart knows this, but it doesn't always process in my head.

Was suppossed to go to Reno's tonight, didn't. I'll need to call and apologize, something. Don't know what happened, one second I was bouncy and having fun. Next thing, I wanted to go crawl in bed, pull the covers over me and forget the world existed. Can't remember what I was thinking of either, so much shit was running through my head.

Appointment with Betsy tonight, need to get on the meds. This is driving the others more than a little insane, they probably hate me right now. Can't be easy taking turns looking out for the crazy one. Didn't even get to do more than wave hi to Em before the boys were dragging her off. Ray's bouncing around, alternating between annoying Gabe and following Scud around. Sin is a freaking shadow. If she's not upstairs doing schoolwork (I think she's the only one who is actually doing it. Haven't been checking on the others, hope Gabe is.), then she's upstairs reading or drawing while listening to the headphones. Her own form of therapy I guess.

Mood: Shitty
Day: Started good, but sucks now




Tosses the journal on the coffee table and shifts Ella, stretching out on the couch and laying the sleeping child on his chest. Softly kisses the top of her head and closes his eyes, trying to get a nap in before someone came home and woke her up.

Comments

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Dark eyes slowly turning to his mate, forcing a smile. "I know you do, pup. And I love you with all my heart."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Sighs and kisses Gabe. "So. Does. He."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Traces Jason's spine with his fingerstips.

"Perhaps he does. I know he cares. And he stays. That's enough for me."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Growls softly.

"Mmm, the guy is practically a hermit, yet he comes out whenever you ask. He plays with you when he won't play with hardly anyone else. If that isn't damn close to love, I don't know what is."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Strokes Jason's hair.

"I don't assume a damn thing with him, pup. Can't get hurt that way."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"I don't think he would hurt you that way."

Sits up, looking at Gabe.

"So, now we have the discussion. Ray wants to be a kitty."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

His shock shows on his face.

"Ray? When? Did he ask this at five? Come on. At that age of course it seems cool."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

He shakes head, smirking. "He's been asking at both ages."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Gabe sighs. "He's young. And mutant. What if he ends up like Lee?"

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"Is he the same type of mutant though? Also, I think Lee's was her power that did it, not the mutant gene itself. The girl was -bleeding- that plasma shit, and we know how the lycan disease reacts with fire."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Nodding, sitting up and hugging his legs to his chest.

"What do you think? I mean, with his mutation and obvious mental problems, what to do? Not that mental problems are bad. Means he'll fit in around here."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"It's up to you, babe. If it was me... I don't know. It would give him stability though."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"Or drive him mad when he shifts."

Pondering, quiet.

"Not sure I can do it, pup. I don't.. I've never done it like you and Lil have. That gentle, loving shit. Hell, I wanted Scud fucking bad and we both still ended up fucked all to hell."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

Moves closer, leaning against Gabe.

"So, ask Scud or Zane to do it. Hell, go get Nathaniel."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Cuddles Jason close. "You know, Nathaniel's not a bad idea. He'd be gentle, that's for sure. And might help his confidance. But.. let Ray choose if we decide to do it. Just... Gods, wanting things to let up, not get worse."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"And, it might help Ray too. He'll have to learn to control the beast, it might help him control the mutation."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"You know I'm not against this, pup. Just.. Fucking scared. I want... I'm losing control of the pard. No one knows where Dante is. Tam doesn't even. I called her. Anna's gone. Nathaniel won't visit us. Sin? God, don't even know... Least the trio is good but... You know they can talk through her, right? Like... Like those books show Anita and them doing.'

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"Dante is a big boy. Nathaniel won't leave Wales unless someone makes him. Sin is good, quiet but good. And she's a telepath, of course they do. And it's completely different from what the whore does." Sighs and kisses Gabe on the shoulder.

"When you weren't looking? The pard straightened themselves out."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

"Dante to not check in on that baby? Not normal. And you know it." Silent, biting at his lip. He lets the rest go, knowing it's true. "Except you and I, huh?"

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

Listening from just outside the door, Ray debates entering.

The conversation is about him, sure. But then, it's also pretty private.

He takes a couple of steps closer.

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"I know, but if something had happened to him, Tam would know. So right now we assume he's alive and well, just not able to contact us." Shakes his head. "You're better. I'm getting there." Glances at the clock. "And my appointment is in an hour, so if we want to talk to Ray..."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Mention of the appointment makes him wince, whimpering. "Might as well. You know? First thing he's gotta learn? We can smell him a hundred yards off.' Smirking, turning his head towards the door. "Makes listening in a hard thing to do, Ray. Just so you know.' Calling out a little bit louder, making sure he knew that part was for him.

[rayharper.livejournal.com]

Peeking his head in, expression sheepish. "Uh, yeah. I'll try to keep that in mind."

He slinks over to stand beside Jason, shifting from foot to foot. "So. Um. Me."

[thewolf-inside.livejournal.com]

"You. Sit. Gabe won't do it, so if you really, really want to do this, you have to choose between Scud, Zane and Nathaniel. And then we ask them."

[lion-passant.livejournal.com]

Staring up at Ray, expression neutral. "Sorry, kid. I can't trust myself."